Tips for Women and Solo Travel

I had a good friend of mine reach out to me today regarding solo travel. She's going to India (LUCKY!) and will be heading there alone and wanted some tips.

Travelling solo can be daunting, especially for women as there are physical limitations we must acknowledge (as much as I think my 5'5'' build could take down anyone). Through my experiences of independent travel I have learned a lot of your safety relies on being prepared and thus more confident. When you are confident (or at least exude confidence) while travelling, you are much more likely to avoid problems.

Here are some quick helpful tips before you take off:

1. Resources
   Make sure you have adequate resources for "just in case". Have your phone charger on you as much as you can (hell, bring 2). Try to have your phone charged as much as possible. Have an emergency contact list on you or in your bags. If you're visiting someone, have their information on you as well. If you know how long you will be travelling or even have a planned itinerary, give this information to someone you trust at home- this way if you don't come home for whatever reason they will know when you were supposed to/possibly where you are (if you have that itinerary....I never have one! Oops). Another good idea is to look up important emergency phone numbers of the areas you will be visiting.
   Recap:
   - Phone charger/charged phone as much as possible
   - Emergency contact list
   - General itinerary for fam/friends at home
   -Emergency phone numbers for location travelling too (police, embassy, hospital, etc)
2. Papers/Documents/IDs
   Keep track of these, they are extremely important! Your ID, passport, tickets, credit/debit cards, money, etc. These things can create a major issue for your travels if you misplace them. I like to keep them all together in a wallet or folder. When it comes to the airport, this is key for a smooth ride. Also, I like to take a small amount of "emergency" cash that I hide in my belongings in case my wallet is lost or stolen. If you lose your passport, you will have to contact the embassy which you are from located in the country you are visiting. If you for whatever reason lose all your cash/cards, money orders are always an option if you have someone willing to send you one.
   Recap:
   - Bring necessary papers & documents
   - Keep track of them in a folder and/or wallet
   - Emergency cash hidden in bags
   - Know how money orders work 'just in case'
3. Be Confident [and if you aren't, fake it]
   A major thing I tell people travelling solo for the first time, and honestly good advice for any sort of travel, is to exude confidence. If you're lost, confused, scared, try your absolute best not to show it! Right when you show that sort of vulnerability it opens you up to becoming a visible target. Not to say this is going to happen, the fact is that it can happen so it's better to avoid it. If you look like you know where you are going or what you are doing, it's less likely someone will view you as a vulnerable and target you. This also pools over into cultural sensitivity, which is another entire topic I could write about buuuut ~not the time~. Make sure you know somewhat about the culture you are visiting (personally I'd say to extensive research BUT that's me). Some cultures find certain "dress" inappropriate- shorts and spaghetti strap tank tops may be okay where you are from but can be very disrespectful in another.
   Recap:
   - Confidence minimizes vulnerability
   - Know the culture
4. Safety
   For those travelling on an airplane, certain personal safety weapons may or may not be allowed. Typically it's best to put any you may want to bring in your checked baggage, but to be sure it is allowed check the airlines policies. I've carried a jacknife for most of my life because it has great utility and safety use. Pepper spray, or other knives are also options. Make sure you know how to properly take care of/use these items as they can turn into a danger for yourself if you do not know how. Also, taking a self defense course before you travel may be smart and instill further confidence in yourself. 

**I will be writing a tips page on airports as well, I just hate them for the most part so I'm being lazy about it.

I Kept it Up Till I Crashed

It's odd how well I'm able to thrust myself forward in times of duress. I cling to the minor feelings of happiness and hope and ignore everything else. It works for a while, enough to fool myself and those around me.

I've been dealing with major anxiety and panic issues for years- around 6 to be exact. Only once before has my symptoms transpired into depression, around 5 years ago when I finally accepted that I had a major problem in my head that I needed to deal with.

Well, it's happened again. I slowly started noticing symptoms I had not felt in so long. I felt numbness and fatigue, lack of empathy, lack of care. This was happening over a few days, just enough for me to raise an eyebrow but not enough for me to call it what it was...until yesterday. I got a job offer, one that pays me enough, has benefits, and is in my dream state. My heart jumped and I felt thrill for all of a minute, until I broke down crying. I just didn't care.

For an empathetic person like myself to not care...it may be one of the most frightening feelings in the world besides grief.

I care about everything, I care too much. I've accepted that side of me, because it's actually who I am.

The way I feel right now, I feel like I've lost myself. I don't know who I am, I feel uncomfortable in my own skin, my chest feels tight all of the time, and I feel like my whole being will burst or burn and crumble at any time.

With anxiety I was for the most part able to see it for what it was. Anxiety usually allows me to be a functioning human, albeit difficult at times. It has never stripped me of my empathy, of my essence. This depression, it seems to rob me of everything. Like I'm drowning, reaching up grasping at what I have left of myself but constantly slipping further.

I just gotta remember and keep telling myself it'll get better, even if I don't really believe it in this moment.

Confusion

Pathetic. Failure. No value.

The spiral. 

My mind is a mess, thoughts flowing improperly through my head, bumping into each other, arguing with one another over who is right or wrong. Of course I, the owner of said head, cannot trust either side pushing itself to the forefront. Am I doing anything right? Why do I have shit to show for all of the hard work I've dedicated to my profession? Why did my perfectly imperfect home I built with him not survive? What did I do wrong each time someone close to me decided I was too much for them, and easy enough to leave behind? No one has found me too hard to leave behind.

I feel alone. I feel tired, and angry, and confused. How can the universe let you love someone so fully, and trust in the full love of theirs, only to remind you its not true? And why would it continue to taunt me, his interactions causing my gut to know that we will always have that deep yet ethereal connection.

Is it that I expect too much from people? My mom tells me you can't expect anything from anyone...but how lonely is that statement? Should I not expect those close to me to see when I'm distraught and expect them to have a heart to reach out to me? Should I not expect them to see me sad and want me to be happy? Is that not that what these relationships are for?

These are the days I hate my extreme empathetic nature most, because it restricts me from seeing it through their perspective. Most people don't care as much as I do, and that is hard for me to accept, as I know no other way. I cannot physically walk away from someone close to me in duress. I cannot look away, I cannot ignore, I cannot let it just happen without trying to aid them in some way.

And people say this is a great quality, and that it is necessary because not many people have it at this level, and empathy is the single most important force behind love when it comes to healing our world. But what if empathy is merely a sling and the world is a severely broken bone? What good is my empathy then?

I've spiraled tonight. And I know tomorrow will be a new day, but tonight...oh tonight. No direction, no prospects, no value found in myself laying in my childhood bed wondering what lead me here. But tomorrow I know will be a new day, and I will look back upon this and reflect on the power of a nights sleep as a reset button.